Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Temper Tantrums

Being that I'm the mother of a nearly 3 year old and a 6 week old you might think the title of this blog refers to my sweet little lady and household "big sister." Well it does (unfortunately), but it also reminds me that when I look at her it is like looking in a mirror. Today's saving grace is my mother. I was launching into my own version of kicking and screaming on the floor (tearing up while nursing "little sis" in a rocking chair) while listening to my daughter sob in her room. Clearly neither of us could get a hold of our emotions long enough to see the irony or the big picture. She's 2 years old. She has an excuse. I'll be 31 next week (oh goodness it's this week). I don't. Temper tantrum.

You see, I have a list of excuses to offer as long as my list of un-done chores. I'll spare you. If you have lived any number of years you might guess them. The laundry isn't finished. Potty training is hard. The dog escaped. There are puddles in our driveway. The mosquitoes are ferocious and we can't go outside. My hair was not blow-dried after my shower. No one slept soundly except the dog. Temper tantrum.

Those are just the excuses that are funny and don't really hurt any one's feelings. You should have heard the sob story I spilled on my unsuspecting mother when she floated in the door this morning to help me. God bless her, I needed help. I needed a time out. I hope she still loves me even though she can see what a mess I am on a daily basis. I hope she thinks I'm a worthy mother even though I know I won't be half the mother she was. I love my children when they mess up. I feel it necessary to remind my eldest: "I love you when you make good choices and when you make bad choices." God loves me when I make bad choices. Sometimes as I remind her, I remind me. It's not mother's day, I know. Today is, for me, the opposite of mother's day. It's whiny, feel-sorry-for-myself, anti-mother's day. It's the day that I most need mothering. Our dog always answers a loud whistle. My mama can whistle, LOUDLY. I am not so talented. I can not whistle and the dog does not come when I try. Temper tantrum.

Some days my good friends mother me. I do so depend on them for advice and even a swift kick in the derriere on occasion. Some days my husband mothers me (in a good way) fussing about and cleaning up messes I haven't the heart to tackle. There are other mothers who have contributed regularly to mothering me and I know that's how I make it. We are a community of "mother hens" in a good way whether or not we have any children.

If you read my blog mom, thank you. Thank you for today and for all the days I didn't thank you.

I am over my temper tantrum now. I would like to stay in time out a bit longer. When you're 2 time out is a punishment. When you're (well I don't think I'll remind myself again how old I'm getting) my age time out is a blessing. I hope the title of my next blog is "self control."

Fat chance. Temper tantrum.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Post Post Post

I can't say how many times in the last month I've thought "I'd like to write a new blog." There is so much to say and life is so full with a new addition in the house. What with potty training (for the 2.5 year old not the infant) which is the bane of my existence, nursing, the house, the laundry monster... which is fueled by cloth diapers and constant spit up I must have something interesting to say! Or maybe I just need to make the coffee.

Coffee made, infant screaming, big girl on the potty I guess I'll try again another day. Seriously! But life it too sweet to skip it in order to record it.